Sometimes it's ok to NOT be on the Internet. This is "Crappy News" for Friday, July 27th, 2018.

Mesa, AZ- A man picked a bad way to beat the heat.


The high temperature on Tuesday was 115 degrees, and 37-year-old Todd Shell was hospitalized because of a heat-related issue. When he was discharged, Shell tried to avoid walking home in the triple-digit stealing an ambulance.

Cops quickly tracked him down, and Shell explained that he wanted to buy a sandwich but needed to stop at home to get money first. He also told police he intended to return the ambulance.

Shell was arrested for unlawful use of transportation. []

I usually don't say this...but I think I'm on the criminal's side here. 115 is BRUTAL. Cue the "it's a dry heat" jokes.

Prudnik, Poland- Hundreds of bottles of beer crashed onto a local highway.

Policja Prudnik via Facebook

A truck was shipping the beer from the Czech Republic to a town in southwest Poland when dozens of crates of beer fell from the vehicle and shattered on the road.

Local police posted pictures of the carnage on social media, saying that the cargo was "incorrectly secured during transport."

The road was closed for nearly five hours before the mess was cleaned up. No injuries were reported. [UPI]

I know you shouldn't cry over spilled milk. But nobody said anything about spilled beer.

Palo Alto, CA- This dude fulfills the stereotype of a teenager who needs to be connected at ALL TIMES.


A 17-year-old kid cut through a screen to sneak in to a neighbor's house. He didn't actually steal anything...but he woke up the homeowners because he was out of data and wanted their wi-fi password.

The couple called the cops and chased him out of the house, and the police caught him a few minutes later. Amazingly...the teen had tried the EXACT same thing the night before at a different home.

Authorities didn't release the name of the suspect because he's underage. He was charged for misdemeanor prowling, providing false information and felony burglary. [Ars Technica]

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