This is "Crappy News" for Thursday, May 24th, 2018.

Seaside Heights, NJ- A couple was arrested after being led into temptation...


43-year-old Anthony Getchius and 48-year-old Noelle Smart were busted on Tuesday for having sex in a secluded garden outside a church. It must not have been secluded enough, because a PRIEST caught them in the unholy act.

Making things worse--if that's even possible--Getchius & Smart were doing it underneath a statue of the Virgin Mary. The couple was still in the throes of passion when police showed up. They were each arrested and charged with lewdness. [Asbury Park Press]

Not exactly the Immaculate Conception.

Warren, OH- A man is recovering after being his oven.


44-year-old Adam Garlock had some kids coming over on Sunday, so he hid his loaded gun inside his oven for safe-keeping. It sounded like a good idea...until his girlfriend decided to BAKE something.

The heat from the stove eventually caused bullets in the gun to explode (because, you know, ammunition plus fire equals something bad). Garlock suffered a gunshot wound in each of his shoulders.

Police say the forensic evidence backed up Garlock's story--there were bullet holes in the stove and the gun obviously had been in a fire. He was treated at the hospital and won't face any charges. [Warren Vindicator]

Waterloo- Video of an attack at a fast-food restaurant has gone viral on social media.

Joe Raedle/Getty Images

The incident happened Sunday night at a Popeyes on Lowe's Boulevard. Video shows Darnell Garrett striking 27-year-old Dorothy Jean King with a long-handled object, then chasing her through the parking lot.

King was allegedly approaching Garrett's car and he noticed her while he was taking out the trash. The two have a history of problems dating back to last year, when Garrett placed a restraining order against her. was arrested for violation of a no-contact order and interference with official acts.

As of now, the video has nearly 350,000 views on Media Takeout's Facebook page. [The Courier]

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