She dumped him freaky fast. This is "Crappy News" for Tuesday, July 3rd, 2018.

Green County, KY- This guy OBVIOUSLY didn't get the message in middle school...

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20-year-old Kern Kost was riding in a car that had been pulled over for a moving violation last week. Officers smelled marijuana inside the vehicle.

The driver consented to a search of the car, and police found several small baggies of weed...hidden in a D.A.R.E. bag.

Kern admitted that the pot was his, and he was arrested for possession of drug paraphernalia and drug trafficking. [WKYT-TV]

I'm not sure if this guy was trying to be ironic or if this happened by accident...but either way, it's almost too perfect.

Montgomery, AL- A woman's unexplained medical problems were finally solved.

30-year-old Kayla Rahn had been experiencing months of problems including pain and weight gain, and doctors told her she'd feel better if she lost weight.

After about a year nothing was working and the pain intensified, so she went to the ER.

Medical staff conducted a series of tests and realized that Rahn had a large mass in one of her ovaries. She was rushed into surgery, where doctors removed a 50-POUND ovarian cyst.

Rahn hopes her story will encourage others to listen to their bodies when something doesn't seem right. [WSFA-TV]

How does that happen? Ouch.

Burlington, IA- A delivery guy definitely went beyond the call of duty.

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23-year-old Kayla Speer was in a long-distance relationship with a guy about three hours away. As a kind gesture while he was studying for finals, she wanted to surprise him by calling his local Jimmy John's to send him a sandwich.

After the food had been delivered, she received a call from Jimmy John's. Speer figured they were letting her know there was a problem with her card. The delivery driver told her that he could see into her boyfriend's apartment and noticed a naked woman on the couch sitting on top of him.

Speer confronted her boyfriend and dumped him. And now that the story has gone viral, Jimmy John's offered to cater a breakup party for her. Whatever that means. [BuzzFeed]

That's customer service taken up about A THOUSAND notches.

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