So...would this be considered a hole-in-one? Or a one-in-hole? Just curious. This is "Crappy News" for Friday, April 6th.

New York City- A couple of jailbirds were caught at the airport.

Vaughn Ridley/Getty Images

72-year-old Victor Benjamin and 57-year-old Insaf Ali were stopped at JFK International Airport after arriving on a flight from Guyana. Customs officers found the men concealing 26 live finches that were placed inside hair curlers and stuffed into their socks.

Evidently, the birds are highly sought after. Finches from Guyana are prized for their singing voices. The birds are used in singing competitions and a person willing to smuggle them into the U.S. could earn a pretty large profit.

Benjamin & Ali each face smuggling charges...and a max sentence of 20 YEARS in prison. [UPI]

Youngstown, OH- Residents are being threatened by zombie raccoons.


As if we don't have ENOUGH to worry about...

Police have been investigating complaints of “zombie-like” behavior from raccoons that have been acting strangely and scaring locals. A witness alerted police after one of the raccoons was spotted in his yard. The man claimed the raccoon would stand on its hind legs and bare its teeth before falling backwards in to a coma-like state.

Police were called to 14 similar situations in the past three weeks, detailing unusual behavior and large noises or motions not scaring the animals away. The Department of Natural Resources believes the raccoons were suffering from distemper. []

Now, I'll be patiently waiting for a "Zombie Raccoons" movie franchise, thanks very much.

Merseyside, England- A man was busted getting -- familiar -- with a golf course.


Steven Gayton was golfing on Monday when he noticed the man lying on the grass in the rain with his trousers around his knees. But that wasn't all the guy was doing...he also got the hole's FLAGSTICK into the action. You can probably figure out where he put it.

The witness shared video of the escapade on Facebook, and it quickly went viral, being shared nearly 500,000 times. [Metro]

Here's more proof that if you spot any sort of nook, cranny, crater, dent, vent, or divot in the world, there's a man who's probably tried to have sex with it.

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