And, like a groundhog, this man burrowed a hole for himself. This is 'Crappy News' for Monday, August 14th.

Rehoboth Beach, DE- An elderly woman was arrested for counterfeiting, but not for the reason you may think.

Michael Mill/Thinkstock

81-year-old Marilyn Hammerman was busted for using fake tickets to ride bumper cars at the Funland amusement park. An employee at the park noticed the tickets looked different and called police. And this wasn't the first time Hammerman had done this.

Apparently, she'd set up a counterfeit operation to make phony tickets to use for amusement park rides. Hammerman has been charged with theft of services. [WJLA]

You may call her a criminal. I call her the best grandmother ever.

Athens, AL- A teen attacked his brother because of tacos.


The victim went to Taco Bell Thursday night to pick up food for himself and his brother, 19-year-old Tyler Dukes. According to police, Dukes became irate when he realized he had to--wait for it--SHARE the food with his brother. Dukes grabbed a baseball bat and struck his brother in the back of the head.

The victim was taken to the hospital. Dukes was charged with felony second-degree assault, and could now face 10 years in prison. [The Smoking Gun]

Thanksgiving dinner ought to be REALLY fun at that house...

Louisville, KY- A was arrested for indecent exposure, but had an--interesting--excuse.

Getty Images

A girl called police to report a man pleasuring himself in a local park late Thursday afternoon. The victim claimed that she and another person were playing when she spotted the man with his pants down and privates exposed.

53-year-old Robert McCoy told cops that it was just a misunderstanding--that he was merely peeing outside when he was startled by a GROUNDHOG, which caused his pants to fall down and inadvertently expose himself.

Shockingly, police didn't believe McCoy's airtight alibi, and he was booked for sexual abuse. It may also surprise you that McCoy is a registered sex offender. [Louisvlle Courier-Journal]

I hate to think about the shadow THAT groundhog would've seen...

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