I'm so angry about this. I seriously don't understand how a person could get away with this for so long! It's 'Crappy News' for Friday, 12/15/17.

Huntington, WV- A man tried to burn down a strip club...just to keep his girlfriend off the pole.


21-year-old Creio Bishop wanted his girlfriend, McKayla, to quit her job as an exotic dancer, but she refused. So he showed up to the club around 3:30 Wednesday morning and started the fire near the front door.

A witness called 911 and fire was put out after minimal damage was done to the building. Shockingly, the guy's plan might have actually worked. The owner is worried that Bishop will try again when he gets out of jail...so he's FIRING McKayla, just in case.

Bishop is charged with second-degree arson. [WSAZ-TV]

So she lost her job and he's a tool, but I'm sure her dad was pretty happy about it.

Leeds, England- A woman has finally found the light of her life...a chandelier.

Dan Kitwood/Getty Images

33-year-old Amanda Liberty claims to be in an open relationship with her chandelier collection and recently became engaged to a fixture named "Lumiere" that she bought on eBay last year.

Liberty identifies as Objectum Sexual, which means that she is attracted to inanimate objects. She insists that her feelings are completely natural, and that her chandeliers are not jealous of one another (gee, I wonder why???). [Daily Mail]

At least she's found something that TURNS HER ON. I'll see myself out.

Dallas, TX- A woman is in jail after subjecting her son to more than a dozen unnecessary surgeries.


34-year-old Kaylene Bowen has been accused of faking her son's ailments for the past seven years.

Medical records show that her son, Christopher, was seen 323 times at hospitals in Dallas and Houston and underwent 13 major operations between 2009 and 2016, including having a feeding tube and pic lines inserted--which led to several blood infections. Christopher's father has been fighting for custody for years and may finally win his case.

Bowen-Wright is believed to have Munchausen Syndrome by proxy, a disorder in which someone exaggerates or creates medical symptoms for themselves or others to gain attention. She was arrested Wednesday on a warrant accusing her of injury to a child with serious bodily injury. [Fort Worth Star-Telegram]

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