This guy clearly handles rejection well. Here's "Crappy News" for Friday, March 9th.

Lakewood, CO- At least one family will be checking their groceries a lot more carefully from now on.

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The Carelse family purchased a box of cereal from their local Walmart on Monday. As in "Monday, March 5th, 2018." It wasn't until they returned home that they realized their cereal had expired...21 YEARS ago.

The box had a "best by" date of February 22, 1997, yet was somehow still on the shelf. The family went online and compared logos of the old box and the new one, and there's really no way to confuse the two.

The father returned the box to Walmart, and the store is investigating. [ABC 7 - Denver]

I'm pretty sure we've all eaten food that was past the expiration date. But food that expired when I was in 5th grade?

Peoria, IL- A man's drug-fueled crime spree was the undead.

27-year-old Justin Deemie was allegedly under the influence of drugs when he broke into his neighbor's home last month and stole the keys to her SUV.


Deemie then drove to the airport and crashed into a terminal before somehow evading security and boarding an empty plane on the runway.

If that wasn't enough, Deemie got out of the plane and attempted to steal a squad car and drive it to Florida. He told police that he feared that he was being chased by zombies.

Deemie was indicted on charges of home invasion, burglary, possession of a stolen motor vehicle and criminal damage to government property. He could serve up to 30 years in prison. [Peoria Journal Star]

What kind of drugs was this guy taking? Remind me to NEVER try them...

Minneapolis, MN- Some people really have a hard time taking "no" for answer. Here is one of those people.


47-year-old Conrrado Cruz Perez formerly worked as a baker at a Perkins restaurant. He was fired from his job after allegedly harassing a female co-worker.

Police say Perez was upset that she'd turned him down for dates, and got back at the victim by relieving himself in her water bottle.

The woman told investigators that she noticed a taste of urine in the bottle about 15 times over the past several months. Perez has been charged with two counts of adulterating a substance with bodily fluids, which is literally AND figuratively a "gross" misdemeanor. [Pioneer Press]

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