This gives new meaning to "speed of service." Here's "Crappy News" for Tuesday, March 20th.

Houston, TX- raided an illegal gambling operation that was disguised to look like a Zumba dance studio.


Harris County Police arrested an attendant Wednesday night and seized more than 40 motherboards from the illegal machines, as well as thousands of dollars in cash.

Police said in a Facebook post, "Game rooms are not just illegal in Texas. They and their customers are often targets for other types of crime due to large amounts of cash on hand and patrons who are often elderly." [UPI]

I admire the creativity, even if it was bound to fail.

Suffolk County, NY- A drunk woman mistook a jail security booth...for a drive-thru.


44-year-old Lizabeth Ildefonso pulled up Friday morning and asked the attending officer for a bacon, egg and cheese breakfast sandwich. Ildefonso was told that she was at the jail, but she "insisted that she really wanted a sandwich."

The officer noticed Ildefonso’s pupils were dilated, that her eyes were glassy and that she had a white powdery residue in her left nostril. She failed a field sobriety test and was arrested for driving while impaired by drugs and driving without a valid license. [Riverhead News-Review]

With all due respect to law enforcement, I don't know how much training you'd need to tell that she was impaired. The "bacon, egg, and cheese" part was probably a big clue.

Hobart, IN- Cops found a mobile meth lab inside an actual fast food restaurant.

Getty Images

Police were called to a White Castle on Friday morning after an employee reported a suspicious customer. Officers caught a man with what was believed to be a "one-pot" methamphetamine lab--a bottle containing chemicals covered by a thin layer of plastic.

The suspect was arrested and the White Castle was reopened later that night after an inspection by the health department. Four officers were treated for exposure to the chemicals. [FOX 59 - Indianapolis]

Honestly, the meth might better for you than eating at White Castle...

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