Running from police doesn't usually end well. Swimming from police is even worse. Here's 'Crappy News' for Tuesday, September 5th.

West Hollywood, CA- A man almost died after offering to help a shoplifter.


The victim saw a man taking food from a convenience store early Saturday morning. Instead of calling police...the man offered to pay for the suspect's items. The suspect refused the offer and attacked the victim with an ax, striking him several times in the head before fleeing the store.

The victim was sent to the hospital, and police are still looking for the shoplifter. []

Now, this guy obviously didn't deserve to get hit with an ax, but it's not always a good idea to try to play the hero.

Wiltshire, U.K.- Farmers came up with a tasty--and kind of cruel--way to show their gratitude.


Two sows and 18 piglets were rescued from a barn fire in February. Six months later, the farm returned the pigs to the fire the form of sausages...

The gift received plenty of criticism from animal rights activists, saying that the pigs were no better off for escaping the fire. The farm defended the decision, stating that the pigs are raised for meat and the sausages were their way of saying thanks.

The firefighters thanked the farmers for their "generosity." [BBC]

Surf City, NC- A man went from being chased by being chased by a shark.


20-year-old Zachary Kingsbury was pulled over Wednesday afternoon. Kingsbury took off when being questioned by police and jumped into the ocean. Cops deployed a drone to track Kingsbury, who was able to swim about 4,000 FEET off shore before the drone lost power. However, the drone got video of a shark swimming near him, so the chase turned into a rescue.

Luckily the Coast Guard was able to get to him before the shark did. Police found meth, pot, and drug paraphernalia in Kingsbury's vehicle. He was arrested for drug possession and resisting arrest. [Charlotte Observer]

The guy might be an idiot, but he is an excellent swimmer.

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