This probably isn't the "on-the-job training" the department had in mind. This is "Crappy News" for Tuesday, May 29th.

Urbana, IL- Two college football players were busted after stealing a statue from a local park.

Getty Images

20-year-old Drew Murtaugh & 21-year-old James Marchese claim they were walking home last month when they saw a sculpture of a deer lying on the ground in the park. Murtaugh & Marchese admitted to taking the statue with them and putting it on the roof of their apartment complex.

The park director says the sculpture, valued at approximately $5,000, has been reinstalled and made more secure. Murtaugh & Marchese are each members of the University of Illinois football team, though that may very well change after this. They are both due in court on theft charges early next month. [Champaign News-Gazette]

WHY? Why does it have to be the team I root for? Haven't things gone badly enough?

Destin, FL- A man ditched his camouflage...right before he needed it.


Cops received a call about a man wandering through a protected area of a state park.

Police found a camouflage shirt on the ground and followed footprints in the sand from the shirt to some nearby bushes. Cops saw the intoxicated man squatting behind the bushes trying to hide.

Yep...he GOT RID of his camouflage during what may be the only moment it could've actually been useful. The man was given a warning for trespassing. [NW Florida Daily News]

This guy must have been TERRIBLE at hide-and-seek growing up.

Brackenridge, PA- A junior firefighter was arrested...for setting a home on fire.


18-year-old Patrick Gillis recently became a firefighter-in-training. And he obviously wanted to learn the tricks of the trade. Last Monday, Gillis went to the duplex where his family used to live...and set it on fire.

Gillis allegedly started the fire by putting his mother's lighter and some loose papers into a microwave in the home's kitchen and then turning on the microwave. No one was hurt, but he destroyed the building and caused about $150,000 in damage.

Gillis has been charged with three felonies--arson, causing a catastrophe, and intentionally destroying an unoccupied structure. [WTAE-TV]

I'm assuming the department dropped him from the program. Probably a safe bet.

Follow Slater on FacebookTwitter and Instagram, and listen live @ or with the NEW Q92.3 mobile app!