Why not just wait a few more weeks when you can sit wherever you want? This is "Crappy News" for Wednesday, February 28th.

Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada- A man tried escaping police by floating on a block of ice.

Courtesy: AlexLMX-ThinkStock

34-year-old Mike Delahunt was wanted for an alleged domestic disturbance with his girlfriend Wednesday morning. He'd destroyed a bunch of her stuff during a fight and left the scene. Police found Delahunt a short time later standing on a large chunk of ice floating in a river.

Police, Coast Guard, and local fishermen tried to rescue him, but he refused assistance. Delahunt eventually gave in and went back to shore. He was treated for hypothermia at a nearby hospital before being arrested.

Delahunt faces six charges, including criminal mischief, assault, and violating probation. [CBC]

I believe they call this the "Canadian Getaway Car."

Barcelona, Spain- Police are investigating a burglary...at a sex shop.


Store security video shows the thief breaking in last Tuesday night. After struggling to open a cabinet full of, let's just call it "merchandise," the suspect used an erotic toy to smash the glass window of the display.

The burglar made off with more than $40,000 worth of stuff...including two 24-karat gold vibrators. However, in his haste, the culprit forgot to grab the chargers specific to the toys...so they may end up being worthless.

Officers are confident they'll find the man soon, because he wasn't wearing gloves and left his fingerprints throughout the shop. [Metro]

I bet those fingers were pretty sticky.

Greenville, NC- This woman was VERY intent on seeing Black Panther.


When people say they're "dying" to see a movie, they usually aren't being serious.

30-year-old Latrice Lynch was arrested after firing a gun inside a movie theatre. Lynch allegedly got into a confrontation Friday night over assigned seats at a showing of Black Panther. During the dispute, she grabbed a .32 caliber pistol from her purse and fired a round into the ceiling.

The shooting prompted police to evacuate the entire theatre. Nobody was hurt, but Lynch faces two counts of assault with a deadly weapon with intent to kill, as well as a felony weapons charge. [The Smoking Gun]

This is why I wait a few weeks to see a movie...or save the $30 and wait 'til it's on-demand.

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